We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
