do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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