i need an iv and a liver transplant
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
