were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
