i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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