didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize