YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
