last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
