my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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