so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
