i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
