oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
