No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
