I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize