I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
