Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
