I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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