lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
