I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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