You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
