I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
