put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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