Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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