She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
