A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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