Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
