If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
