my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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