So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize