Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think my moral compass just broke
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
