You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize