come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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