Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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