Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it hurts more in the daytime
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize