I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
