did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
