I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
