I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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