He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
