If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
