More tranny stories later!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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