I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
time to smoke my breakfast
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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