I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
