I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
