Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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