dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
