just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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