i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
