I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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