I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
