Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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