i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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