Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
worst night to have a conscience
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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