69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it's great music for shaving your balls
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
