I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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