miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
