You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
