I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize