I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
