I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
