I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
